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Friday Refills - Rest is Not an Optional Luxury

Summary

In this Friday Refill episode, Jonathan Cottrell challenges the common perception of rest as an optional luxury, arguing instead that it is a fundamental human need. He draws an analogy to athletic training, where recovery periods are when the body actually adapts and grows stronger from the work put in. Similarly, for knowledge workers and developers, rest is when learning gets encoded and solidified, making it essential for growth and adaptation.

Cottrell acknowledges the common objection that people are too busy with obligations—work demands, family responsibilities, and other “have-tos”—to prioritize rest. He introduces the concept of “want-tos,” “need-tos,” and “have-tos,” a hierarchy many learn early in life. However, he reframes this by suggesting that most “have-tos” are actually obligations stemming from larger life choices we’ve made, such as choosing a career, a home, or to have children.

The key insight is to shift from saying “I have to do this” to “I have chosen to do this.” This reframing empowers individuals by reminding them that their lives are primarily affected by their own choices. True freedom, Cottrell explains, isn’t about having nothing to do, but about recognizing and affirming the choices behind our obligations. This mindset prevents obligations from completely crowding out the margin needed for rest and recovery.

Ultimately, the episode emphasizes that making better decisions is a crucial skill for personal growth. By affirming our choices and understanding that rest is non-negotiable for cognitive and physical health, we can create the necessary space for recovery. This allows us to assimilate the week’s challenges and learning, leading to more sustainable productivity and well-being.

Topic Timeline

  • 00:00:00 — Introduction to Friday Refills and the purpose of rest — Jonathan Cottrell welcomes listeners to the Friday Refill episode, explaining its purpose is to send listeners into the weekend energized and excited to rest. He introduces the core idea that rest is not a contradiction to productivity but essential for growth, drawing an analogy to athletes who recover and adapt during downtime.
  • 00:01:57 — Rest as a fundamental need, not a luxury — Cottrell explicitly states that rest should not be viewed as an optional luxury but as a priority, perhaps even above active work. He argues this is not just an opinion but a scientific fact, especially in cognitive science over the past decades, affirming rest as a critical human need for encoding and solidifying learning.
  • 00:02:50 — Addressing the “too busy” objection and the hierarchy of obligations — Acknowledging listeners who feel too busy with work, family, and other demands to rest, Cottrell introduces the common hierarchy of ‘want-tos,’ ‘need-tos,’ and ‘have-tos.’ He questions the notion of ‘have-tos,’ suggesting they often stem from larger systemic choices we’ve made in life, rather than being truly unavoidable.
  • 00:04:22 — Reframing obligations as choices for empowerment — Cottrell delves deeper into reframing language: saying ‘I have to’ versus ‘I have chosen to.’ He explains that obligations often arise from big life decisions (career, location, family) that we actively made. This perspective shift is meant to empower listeners by reminding them that their lives are primarily shaped by their own choices, not external forces.
  • 00:05:35 — The importance of decision-making and creating margin — The discussion concludes by emphasizing that making better choices is a key skill for personal growth. The goal is to not let past choices eliminate all margin for rest. Instead, by affirming our decisions, we can maintain the necessary space for recovery, which is fundamental to processing the week’s work and challenges.

Episode Info

  • Podcast: Developer Tea
  • Author: Jonathan Cutrell
  • Category: Technology Business Careers Society & Culture
  • Published: 2021-02-19T08:00:00Z
  • Duration: 00:07:12

References

Podcast Info

Transcript

[00:00:00] Happy Friday everyone, my name is Jonathan Cottrell and you’re listening to Developer

[00:00:06] T Friday Refills.

[00:00:13] Thank you for joining me once again for a Friday Refill.

[00:00:20] These episodes are intended to send you into your weekend energized and excited to rest.

[00:00:28] And this may sound a bit like a contradiction, but it makes a lot of sense when you think

[00:00:34] about it from a different perspective.

[00:00:36] When you think about it from, let’s say, the perspective of an athlete, our recovery periods

[00:00:45] are the time when all of the work that we put in, let’s say in the weight room, when

[00:00:51] that work is actually realized, when our bodies adapt, when we’re able to assimilate the information

[00:01:01] that we’ve gathered over the week, all of the struggle that we might face and all of

[00:01:08] the challenges that we rise to in our weeks when we rest and learn to recover.

[00:01:16] And this goes not just for the weekends, of course, but for any time that you’re recovering,

[00:01:22] any of the times that you exhale, that you give yourself the room to expand, you give

[00:01:31] your mind the opportunity to do nothing.

[00:01:37] These are the times where we grow the most, where we adapt the most.

[00:01:42] This is when all of that stuff that we studied, all of the learning that we had on our plates,

[00:01:50] all of it gets kind of encoded and solidified during our rest period.

[00:01:57] So I want you to think about your rest as not an optional luxury.

[00:02:04] This isn’t an optional luxury.

[00:02:06] You should be prioritizing it, perhaps prioritizing it above some of the more active things that

[00:02:14] you think are going to make you better.

[00:02:17] This is not my opinion, and this is not about having a luxurious life.

[00:02:26] That’s not what rest is about.

[00:02:28] Rest is a fundamental human need, and it’s one that science is now affirming.

[00:02:36] And it has affirmed for a long time, but even more so in the kind of cognitive realm in

[00:02:42] the past 10, 20 years.

[00:02:45] Rest is critically important.

[00:02:49] But here’s the thing.

[00:02:50] A lot of people are listening to this right now, and they say, well, you just don’t understand

[00:02:55] how busy I am and how many things I have to do.

[00:02:59] I have to fulfill this particular request from my employer.

[00:03:06] I have to be on call.

[00:03:08] I have to be present for my children while we’re in quarantine.

[00:03:16] I have to get to the gym, and I have to run these errands.

[00:03:23] All of these things that we have to do, they all crowd out our margin to choose what we

[00:03:32] to do, or what we need to do even.

[00:03:37] This hierarchy that many of us are presented with very young in life, the want-tos, the

[00:03:43] need-tos, and the have-tos.

[00:03:47] There’s some kind of inherent priority in that we know the things that we have to do

[00:03:53] that we have no choice about.

[00:03:56] But the truth is, for most people, when we say that we have to do something, while we’re

[00:04:01] really saying is that we are under an obligation to do something that we have chosen to do

[00:04:10] in a systemic manner.

[00:04:13] That’s not a punchy phrase.

[00:04:15] Let’s go back over that for a second.

[00:04:17] When we say we have to do something, what we’re saying actually is that we chose some

[00:04:22] system that we want to live under.

[00:04:25] This can be something as big as choosing a location to live, or buying a home, or choosing

[00:04:33] to have children.

[00:04:36] It could be something as big as choosing a particular career path.

[00:04:41] These are things that we have chosen.

[00:04:43] And therefore, we have obligations based on those very large life decisions that we don’t

[00:04:51] feel in the moment today are optional.

[00:04:57] Now you’re not going to hear me on this show telling you that you shouldn’t make these

[00:05:02] big choices.

[00:05:03] We all have big choices to make, and if you’re not under one set of obligations, you very

[00:05:08] likely will be choosing another set of obligations.

[00:05:11] True freedom doesn’t mean nothing to do.

[00:05:16] True freedom means recognizing and affirming the choices that you’re making.

[00:05:23] So instead of saying, I have to do X, Y, or Z, remind yourself, I have chosen, I have

[00:05:31] chosen to do this.

[00:05:35] And the reason for this is to constantly remind yourself that most of your life is affected

[00:05:42] primarily by you.

[00:05:46] Your choices today are going to affect you not only today, not only tomorrow, perhaps

[00:05:52] for the remainder of your life.

[00:05:54] And so making choices is probably the number one skill that you can hone.

[00:06:03] It’s a huge theme on this show.

[00:06:05] It’s a huge theme in my personal life, and I hope it becomes a huge theme for you in

[00:06:11] your personal study and your personal growth, how to make better decisions.

[00:06:17] For today, we’re not talking about the bad decisions that you might feel you made in

[00:06:23] the past.

[00:06:24] Instead, we’re talking about how you relate to your obligations.

[00:06:29] Don’t allow the choices that you have made to turn into you not having the margin.

[00:06:37] Instead, affirm your choices.

[00:06:40] Realize that your choices are a part of who you are.

[00:06:45] Thanks so much for listening to today’s episode.

[00:06:47] This Friday refill of Developer Tea, we’ll be back bright and early on Monday morning

[00:06:52] with a new episode of the show.

[00:06:55] And until then, enjoy your tea.

[00:07:10] Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Developer Tea, we’ll be back bright and early

[00:07:35] on Monday morning with a new episode of Developer Tea, we’ll be back bright and early on Monday

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