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Techniques for People Struggling to Define Their Values

Summary

This episode of Developer Tea focuses on helping listeners who struggle to define their personal values. Host Jonathan Cattrall acknowledges that understanding one’s values is critical for career planning and decision-making in ambiguous situations, but many people avoid or procrastinate this process because it feels difficult or philosophical.

Cattrall introduces three practical techniques for discovering values. First, he suggests simply making reasonable guesses about what your values might be, emphasizing that this isn’t a graded assignment and values can evolve over time. The goal is to start somewhere without pressure for perfection or permanence.

The second technique involves examining how you spend your time, as time allocation often reflects underlying values. Cattrall provides a template for analysis: “Today, I [action] so that [consequence] because [motivation].” He explains that the same action can stem from different motivations, so identifying patterns in motivations can reveal core values.

Third, Cattrall recommends considering anti-values—what you don’t value—as a way to clarify what you do value. By identifying what differs from others’ priorities, you can uncover your unique values. Throughout the episode, he emphasizes maintaining a flexible, pliable relationship with values rather than rigid commitment, allowing for growth and adaptation throughout one’s career and life.

Recommendations

Communities

  • Developer Tea Discord — Recommended at the end of the episode as a free platform for discussion where listeners can share experiences, ask questions, seek feedback, and discuss topics related to engineering and personal growth.

Tools

  • Square APIs and SDKs — Mentioned during the sponsor segment as tools for developers to build customized solutions for sellers by extending or integrating with Square’s platform.

Topic Timeline

  • 00:00:00 — Introduction to the importance and difficulty of defining personal values — Jonathan Cattrall introduces the episode’s focus on helping people who struggle to define their personal values. He explains that understanding values is critical for career planning and decision-making in ambiguous situations, but many people avoid this process because it feels difficult. The episode aims to provide easy introductory ways to discover your values.
  • 00:02:12 — First technique: Start by making reasonable guesses about your values — Cattrall presents the first technique: simply guess what your values might be. He emphasizes that this doesn’t require an epiphany or hours of introspection. Values can evolve over time, and you don’t need to be right about every value or declare them publicly. The goal is to begin with a reasonable guess and allow it to develop through use and reflection.
  • 00:05:21 — Second technique: Analyze how you spend your time to uncover values — The second technique involves examining how you spend your time, as time allocation often reflects underlying values. Cattrall suggests looking at your calendar and categorizing how you spend discretionary time. He provides a template: “Today, I [action] so that [consequence] because [motivation].” By identifying patterns in motivations across different activities, you can begin to uncover your core values.
  • 00:09:57 — Third technique: Consider anti-values to clarify what you do value — Cattrall introduces the third technique: consider what you don’t value (anti-values) to clarify what you do value. He explains that people often choose safe, universally-agreed-upon values when asked directly. By identifying what differs from others’ priorities, you can uncover your unique values. For example, not valuing personal wealth accumulation might lead to valuing experiences or spending money earlier in life.
  • 00:11:45 — Conclusion: Maintaining a flexible relationship with your values — Cattrall concludes by emphasizing that all these techniques are designed to soften the entry point into defining values. He stresses the importance of maintaining a pliable, flexible relationship with your values rather than rigid commitment. This flexibility allows values to adapt to your situation and facilitate learning and growth throughout your career and life.

Episode Info

  • Podcast: Developer Tea
  • Author: Jonathan Cutrell
  • Category: Technology Business Careers Society & Culture
  • Published: 2022-06-01T07:00:00Z
  • Duration: 00:13:48

References

Podcast Info

Transcript

[00:00:00] Understanding your personal values is critical to building your career plan.

[00:00:16] It’s critical to making decisions in the face of ambiguity and uncertainty.

[00:00:22] And it’s also really hard to do.

[00:00:25] A lot of times people just avoid trying to make a determination on what their personal values are,

[00:00:31] what their core values are, and instead they assume that those values will come and hit them

[00:00:38] in the face. In today’s episode, I’m going to give you some easy intro ways of finding your values.

[00:00:50] If you’ve had trouble defining what your personal core values are, if you’ve had difficulty

[00:00:57] kind of verbalizing those, maybe you have procrastinated on writing these things down,

[00:01:03] this episode is for you. My name is Jonathan Cattrall. You’re listening to Developer Tea.

[00:01:08] And this episode aligns with a goal of helping you find purpose in your career.

[00:01:15] Now, before this gets too heady, before it gets too philosophical, let me start by saying

[00:01:22] that the whole goal of having values is to provide you a practical way of making decisions

[00:01:29] about things that are not necessarily black and white. Making decisions when there’s a lot of

[00:01:36] uncertainty or ambiguity, when there’s no necessarily correct way, when it’s really

[00:01:42] just about your choice. How do you make choices? You can think about values as kind of guidelines

[00:01:50] or a framework for making personal decisions. Decisions that are not necessarily a cultural,

[00:01:57] moral decision, but more are just your choice, your taste, your personal preferences,

[00:02:04] what you believe, and how you want to interact with the world. This is what values provide to you.

[00:02:12] So I want to help you understand your own values. And we’re going to start with the simplest form

[00:02:20] of this, which is guessing. That’s right. You don’t necessarily have to have this

[00:02:26] moment of epiphany. You don’t have to do hours of mental exercises or introspection.

[00:02:34] You can just make reasonable guesses. You don’t have to be right about every value.

[00:02:40] This is not an assignment. Nobody’s going to grade it. Nobody’s going to look at your

[00:02:44] values and say that they aren’t good enough. They aren’t sufficient. This is not a process

[00:02:52] that you’re going to end at the end of this episode or at the end of the month or the year.

[00:03:00] It’s a process of growth and learning that probably will go throughout the rest of your

[00:03:05] career and probably beyond your career. Pick a value that you feel attracted to,

[00:03:11] that you feel fits you, and then just let it evolve. Don’t worry about what it means

[00:03:18] if you decide to change it. You don’t have to go and write a blog post declaring your values to

[00:03:23] the world. You can have values that you use, practically speaking, and if they’re not serving

[00:03:32] you, they’re yours. You can change them. So that’s my first recommendation. Just guess.

[00:03:39] Just guess at what your values are. Next, I want you to look at the way you spend

[00:03:47] your time. We’re going to talk about how to do that right after we talk about today’s sponsor, Square.

[00:03:52] Today’s episode is brought to you by Square. There are millions of sellers across the globe

[00:04:06] using Square to run every aspect of their business. And many of those sellers are looking

[00:04:11] for customized solutions that are deeply connected and easy to use and that unfortunately

[00:04:17] don’t exist yet. And this is where you come in as a developer. You can grow your business

[00:04:21] by extending or integrating with Square using free APIs and SDKs to build tools for sellers

[00:04:28] that they’re searching for right now. Learn more by going to developert.com

[00:04:33] slash Square. It’s developert.com slash Square. Thanks again to Square for sponsoring today’s

[00:04:41] episode of Developer T. We’re talking about ways

[00:04:51] of discovering your own values, especially if you’ve had trouble defining your values in the past.

[00:04:57] Maybe you’re procrastinating on it. Maybe you’re afraid of defining them because they’re going to

[00:05:02] change. Well, that’s not a problem. We’ve already talked about the first kind of technique or system

[00:05:09] process that you can use. And it’s just to guess, to make a reasonable guess about what you think

[00:05:15] your values are based on whatever information you can gather. And one of the ways that you can

[00:05:21] gather that information is to look at the way you spend your time. This is the second technique

[00:05:28] I want you to attempt or to use to determine your values. Look at the way you spend your time. The

[00:05:35] way you spend your time is one angle in determining what you value. It is a fundamentally limited

[00:05:42] resource. And the way you spend your resources often is a reflection of what you care about.

[00:05:48] What you care about is often a reflection of your values. Now give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

[00:05:54] You might not spend your time perfectly in line with your ideal values all the time.

[00:05:59] You might know this about yourself. Maybe you feel frustrated in the ways that you’re spending your

[00:06:05] time. And that’s the reason you’re searching for values in the first place. You’re trying to take

[00:06:10] control of the way you spend your time. But the way you spend your time likely provides a hint

[00:06:16] of what you value. Look back at your calendar. Look at the way that you’re spending your time

[00:06:22] in a macro sense. Not necessarily how efficient you are or how you’re wasting your time in your

[00:06:27] mind. But instead, what are the categories? What are the ways that you’re choosing to spend your

[00:06:33] time? You could imagine that you might put a label on the way that you spend your time in the

[00:06:40] evenings. Maybe you’re playing video games or you’re watching TV. These are things that are

[00:06:46] classically criticized as time wasters. But in fact, you could look at those and derive

[00:06:52] what your values are. Maybe you are playing those video games because it’s a chance to connect with

[00:07:00] other people. Maybe you are watching those television shows because you appreciate the

[00:07:08] storylines. You connect with the story in whatever show you’re watching. Not all of the ways that we

[00:07:14] think we’re wasting time is actually completely a waste. And they can still be insightful to

[00:07:21] your values most critically. So here’s the template that I want you to think about. The template I

[00:07:27] want you to use as you’re looking at your calendar for today or you’re looking back on your

[00:07:33] previous day’s calendar, however you track the way that you spent your time, especially if you

[00:07:41] can look at time that you are coordinating, the time that you are in charge of, your free time

[00:07:49] or time that you are responsible for when you’re working. Use this template. Here it is. Today,

[00:07:56] I blank so that blank because blank. All right. And here’s what those blanks are filled in with.

[00:08:05] Today, I action so that consequence because motivation. Today, I exercised so that my body

[00:08:19] would be healthier because I care about my long-term health. Now, here’s an interesting

[00:08:26] thing that you might notice. You may have the same start, the same action today I exercised

[00:08:34] so that I could clear my head because I value being at the top of my mental game

[00:08:42] day in and day out in my work. This initial action is perhaps exactly the same, but the

[00:08:50] underlying motivation is different. The consequences are similar, but the underlying motivation can be

[00:08:56] totally different. This is why you can’t just look at your actions and determine a value kind of out

[00:09:04] of thin air just from the actions. You have to look at it through the lens of the consequences

[00:09:10] that you care about from those actions, number one, and the underlying motivation that drives

[00:09:16] you to seek those consequences. As you do this exercise, as you fill this template out

[00:09:25] for multiple actions that you’ve taken, multiple events that you’ve been a part of,

[00:09:30] hopefully you start to notice some trends, commonalities between maybe your consequences

[00:09:36] and certainly commonalities in your motivations. These motivations, as you begin to see these

[00:09:42] trends, might start to uncover some of your values. That’s the goal of this exercise.

[00:09:50] The third exercise or technique to understand, unearth your own personal values is to actually

[00:09:57] look at it from the other side, to look at it from the angle of an anti-value. Here’s why.

[00:10:03] A lot of people, when they’re asked to determine their values, if they’re hesitant initially,

[00:10:08] they might choose something that is safe, that’s easy to agree with, that’s pretty much

[00:10:15] universally agreed upon in most cultures. For example, saying that you value human flourishing

[00:10:22] or charity. These are not really values as much as they are just virtues, things that pretty much

[00:10:28] everybody values. Consider your values from the opposite side though. What do you not value that

[00:10:37] especially is different from someone else you may know? This might help clarify what you actually

[00:10:43] do value. For example, you might say that you don’t value building a lot of personal wealth.

[00:10:49] This implies in your career, for example, you might make choices that are not optimized towards

[00:10:54] making the most money possible. So what are you optimizing for instead? Because you’ve identified

[00:11:02] this anti-value, it helps kind of leave the door open for a clarifying question that might lead

[00:11:09] you to your actual value. People who don’t necessarily value building a ton of personal

[00:11:15] wealth, they might value, for example, spending their money earlier in life. Or maybe that these

[00:11:24] people value experiences rather than possessions. These are two totally different values,

[00:11:31] both of them stemming from the same anti-value of not valuing building personal wealth.

[00:11:38] All of these techniques, exercises that I’m giving you here are just ways of kind of softening that

[00:11:45] entry level, the commitment that you may feel like you are making towards your values. By

[00:11:52] determining what your values are through this soft entry point, this guessing, for example,

[00:11:58] you begin to build a more pliable relationship between yourself and the values that you say you

[00:12:04] possess. Having this pliable, flexible relationship with values is critical because it allows you to

[00:12:13] keep them held with a very soft grip. You don’t necessarily have to commit to these values forever

[00:12:22] instead the goal is to use them, to adapt to your situation, to learn from them. And as we know,

[00:12:31] learning almost always is improved through flexibility. Thanks so much for listening to

[00:12:38] today’s episode of Developer Tea. I hope that if you’ve struggled with developing your own values,

[00:12:43] with writing them down and committing to them, that this episode gives you a sense of freedom

[00:12:48] and it gives you a sense of agency to begin to help define those values, those working values

[00:12:55] for the time being. Thanks so much for listening. Thank you again to Square for sponsoring today’s

[00:13:00] episode. Head over to developertea.com slash square to get started building tools for sellers today.

[00:13:06] If you enjoyed this discussion and you’d like to continue it, join us on the Developer Tea Discord.

[00:13:12] Head over to developertea.com slash Discord. That’s totally free. You join and you basically

[00:13:18] talk. It’s a platform for discussion. We have a ton of different kind of interest rooms. You can

[00:13:25] share your experiences, ask questions, seek feedback. There’s even some jobs that get posted

[00:13:30] in there. But the majority of conversation is centered on improving and growing as an engineer

[00:13:38] and as a human being. Thanks so much for listening and until next time, enjoy your tea.

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