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Leitura de 14 min

Avoid Defining Success Outside Your Locus of Control

Summary

In this episode of Developer Tea, host Jonathan Cottrell delves into the Stoic principle of focusing on what is within our control. He explains how much of our frustration and anxiety stems from trying to influence outcomes that are fundamentally outside our direct influence, such as interview results or team member actions. By becoming aware of this distinction, we can reduce negative emotional cycles and improve our mental well-being.

Cottrell suggests a practical exercise: reviewing your calendar or to-do list to identify items where you have direct control versus those you can only influence. For instance, you can prepare for a job interview but not dictate its outcome. This clarity helps pinpoint sources of anxiety, which often arise from attempting to control the uncontrollable.

The host emphasizes the importance of reorienting our definition of success around controllable actions. Instead of celebrating or lamenting external outcomes, we should judge our days based on whether we executed the behaviors within our power—like adhering to quality standards in coding. This shift in narrative fosters motivation and prevents discouragement when external factors lead to undesirable results.

Cottrell concludes by encouraging listeners to consistently focus on their locus of control, which may evolve over time. By internalizing this mindset, developers can transform their work experience, interactions with others, and overall perspective on success and failure.

Recommendations

Tools

  • Square APIs and SDKs — Mentioned in the sponsor segment as a platform for developers to build custom solutions for sellers, integrating with Square’s free tools to grow their own business.

Topic Timeline

  • 00:00:27 — Introduction to Stoic philosophy and control — Jonathan introduces the episode’s theme by referencing the popularity of Stoicism and its core insight: distinguishing between what we can control and what we cannot. He explains that Stoics advocate treating uncontrollable outcomes with indifference, appreciating beneficial results but remaining okay if they don’t occur. This sets the stage for a discussion on applying this philosophy to reduce anxiety and improve focus in work and life.
  • 00:01:58 — Time as a fundamental element of control — The host identifies time as a primary resource within our internal locus of control. He argues that we often feel obligated to others, forgetting that these commitments are usually choices we’ve made. By examining our calendars and to-do lists, we can gain clarity on how we allocate our time and recognize areas where we mistakenly cede control, leading to unnecessary stress and unproductive behaviors.
  • 00:03:05 — Practical exercise for identifying control — Jonathan proposes a concrete exercise: review scheduled items and assess the balance of control for each. For example, in a job interview, you can influence the conversation but not the hiring decision. This practice helps pinpoint anxiety sources, as our brains often struggle to accept limits on control. Understanding this boundary allows for better emotional management and strategic focus on actionable inputs.
  • 00:05:16 — Frustration from uncontrollable outcomes — After the sponsor message, the discussion resumes by highlighting how disappointment often stems from external factors beyond our control. We spend excessive energy trying to influence these areas, which ultimately proves futile and can lead to harmful actions, like a manager misusing authority. Recognizing when we are overreaching for control is crucial to avoiding negative consequences for ourselves and our teams.
  • 00:07:22 — Reframing success around controllable actions — The host advises shifting focus to behaviors within our control, such as maintaining quality standards in coding, rather than fixating on uncontrollable outcomes like production bugs. By defining ‘wins’ based on our actions, we create positive reinforcement loops. Conversely, attributing failure to external factors discourages desired behaviors, especially when evaluating others like team members or children.
  • 00:10:00 — Separating good process from bad outcomes — Jonathan clarifies that acknowledging uncontrollable failures does not mean ignoring reality. It’s possible to execute excellent work—good decisions, processes, and code—and still experience negative outcomes due to external factors. The key is to separate these two aspects, celebrating our controllable efforts while accepting that fate can influence results, thereby maintaining motivation and a healthy self-narrative.
  • 00:11:20 — Conclusion and daily practice encouragement — In the concluding segment, the host reiterates that while our locus of control may evolve, external influences will always exist. He encourages listeners to end each day by judging their performance based on controllable actions, not external outcomes. This mindset shift can profoundly change how we view our work, interact with others, and perceive our own success, leading to greater satisfaction and resilience.

Episode Info

  • Podcast: Developer Tea
  • Author: Jonathan Cutrell
  • Category: Technology Business Careers Society & Culture
  • Published: 2022-11-14T08:00:00Z
  • Duration: 00:12:48

References

Podcast Info

Transcript

[00:00:00] Today, we’re going to look at what you can control and how you can orient yourself to

[00:00:21] what you can control.

[00:00:23] My name is Jonathan Cottrell.

[00:00:24] You’re listening to Developer Tea.

[00:00:27] The philosophy of the Stoics has become fairly popular in recent years.

[00:00:35] This is partially due to some of the writings that have come out that are kind of revising

[00:00:42] and reviewing those original ancient writings of the Stoics.

[00:00:48] One of the main insights that Stoic literature focuses on is the idea of being highly aware

[00:01:00] of what you can control and influence.

[00:01:04] The things that you can control versus the things that you can’t.

[00:01:10] In this regard, the Stoic philosophy attributes to fate the external locus of control.

[00:01:18] In other words, the things that you do not have control over, the Stoic philosophy would

[00:01:24] say to leave it up to fate and to treat those things with indifference.

[00:01:31] Indifference in this regard means not minding whether it goes one way or the other, appreciating

[00:01:38] if it goes the way that is beneficial to you, but being okay if it doesn’t.

[00:01:45] So I want to focus on doing two things in this episode.

[00:01:47] The first is to get very clear on the things that you can control.

[00:01:53] Get very clear on the things that you can control.

[00:01:55] Let’s start with your time.

[00:01:58] There’s no one else in your life who is more responsible for your time than you are.

[00:02:04] This is a fundamental truth that we often violate.

[00:02:08] We do things that we wouldn’t otherwise do if we didn’t feel that our time was given

[00:02:15] away already, that it was committed to something else already.

[00:02:19] We often feel obligated to other people and rarely do we remember that those obligations

[00:02:25] are almost always things that we have chosen.

[00:02:29] And so we should be highly aware that time, the way we spend our time, is almost always

[00:02:36] inside of that internal locus of control.

[00:02:39] An easy exercise for you to do, and it seems that many of our exercises end up focusing

[00:02:44] on this, but it makes it tangible and concrete for you, go and open your calendar and look

[00:02:50] at the various meetings, various things that you have to do.

[00:02:55] Maybe you have a to-do list that you can do this with as well.

[00:02:58] And imagine the various outcomes from each of those items.

[00:03:03] Let’s say that you’re looking for a job.

[00:03:05] Well, you can influence a given interview, but you can’t directly influence the outcome

[00:03:12] from that interview.

[00:03:13] You might be able to influence the way a retrospective meeting goes, the kinds of things that you

[00:03:20] talk about in the retrospective, but you can’t control what other people are going to say.

[00:03:25] Find clarity on especially the things that are directly in front of you.

[00:03:29] If you have something that is causing anxiety for you, then it’s probably worthwhile to

[00:03:34] take a moment and look at where that control line or the balance of control is.

[00:03:41] Think about whether your anxiety is being produced because you do not have direct control

[00:03:47] over the output.

[00:03:49] Many times this is the source or at least an artifact of things that cause anxiety

[00:03:55] for us in our work.

[00:03:57] The idea is that our brains are trying to find some avenue, some way for us to control

[00:04:03] something that we fundamentally cannot control.

[00:04:07] Once you get incredibly clear on what are the things that you can or cannot control

[00:04:13] in your day-to-day work, in the problems that you’re facing right this second, the next

[00:04:18] step is to try to realign yourself based on that control.

[00:04:25] We’re going to talk about that right after we talk about today’s sponsor.

[00:04:33] This episode of Developer T is brought to you by Square.

[00:04:36] There’s millions of sellers across the globe using Square to run every aspect of their

[00:04:41] business, whether physical or online or both.

[00:04:45] Many are looking for customized solutions that are deeply connected and easy to use

[00:04:49] and this is where you, as a software engineer, come in.

[00:04:54] You can grow your own business by extending or integrating with Square using their free

[00:04:58] APIs and SDKs to build tools for sellers.

[00:05:02] Learn more by going to developert.com slash Square.

[00:05:06] That’s developert.com slash Square.

[00:05:09] Thanks again to Square for sponsoring today’s episode of Developer T.

[00:05:16] Much of our frustration, much of our disappointment, our sadness, much of what we end up feeling

[00:05:26] jerked around by are the results of things that are out of our control.

[00:05:32] We spend a lot of time worrying, a lot of time trying to strategize ways to influence

[00:05:37] those things, but ultimately they’re outside of our direct control.

[00:05:43] Ultimately by doing an exercise or two, you can start to get an idea of what are some

[00:05:48] of the things that fit in that category for you, the things that you are trying to apply

[00:05:53] control to, whether consciously or unconsciously, you’re trying to wrap your head around them

[00:06:00] to reduce the risk maybe, but they’re fundamentally outside of your control and so no matter what

[00:06:07] you try, it’s going to fall flat, it’s going to fall short.

[00:06:12] Interestingly, we often overreach, we often do things that are either bad for us or bad

[00:06:18] for our environment or our teams.

[00:06:21] For example, I might want to exert my control as a manager over my team and force them to

[00:06:28] do something using some kind of power dynamic.

[00:06:32] This is almost certainly going to end poorly.

[00:06:35] This is not the kind of control that you really want to have.

[00:06:40] This kind of control is expiring in its effectiveness because in that case, my team is probably

[00:06:47] going to just leave.

[00:06:48] They can go elsewhere where they have more autonomy.

[00:06:52] Even if you can find an avenue to control these things that are causing issues, when

[00:06:58] you find yourself grasping for more control, it’s likely that you’re better off if you

[00:07:05] take a step back and evaluate how you can reorient yourself to the things that you can

[00:07:12] and can’t control in the first place.

[00:07:14] We’ve kind of already done this with the first exercise, but now I want to talk about how

[00:07:18] you can start to think about changing your mind.

[00:07:22] How can you become indifferent to these things?

[00:07:26] Focus on the things you can control and more importantly, develop your own internal narrative

[00:07:33] to doing well in those things.

[00:07:36] In other words, if you can control your own behaviors, for example, let’s say that you

[00:07:43] can’t necessarily control whether a bug makes it to production directly or not.

[00:07:48] There’s a lot of things that go into that.

[00:07:50] There’s a lot of bugs that get past us.

[00:07:52] We can’t always control everything that’s going to happen in production.

[00:07:56] But what we can do is we can develop our quality standards and follow those.

[00:08:01] So now instead of your goal being, well, we’re going to eliminate every bug before

[00:08:06] it makes it to production.

[00:08:08] You set your goals, you set your sights on the thing that you can control.

[00:08:13] You celebrate the thing that you can control.

[00:08:16] You get to decide whether you are winning based on your actions.

[00:08:21] And this is very important language to start thinking about.

[00:08:25] What do you consider a win versus a loss?

[00:08:28] And the reason here is because you want to use winning and losing, success versus failure.

[00:08:34] You use these things as motivation for the kinds of behavior that you care about.

[00:08:41] If you focus on loss that is the result of fate, of luck, of randomness, of things outside

[00:08:49] of your control.

[00:08:52] If you allow yourself to lose or to assign failure or loss to those situations, even

[00:09:00] when you are doing everything that you know to do, even when your inputs are correct for

[00:09:07] all that you understand, then you are doing the right things as much as you can control.

[00:09:13] Well, now you’re going to create this negative enforcement loop, right?

[00:09:18] This negative feedback loop that might discourage or at least lower the signal for those behaviors

[00:09:25] that you care about.

[00:09:27] This is especially true when you’re talking about other people.

[00:09:31] When you are labeling something as a win or a loss of failure or success for your team

[00:09:37] or for another individual, if you’re a parent, for your children, if you’re focusing on this

[00:09:43] language but you’re taking control out of their hands to win or lose, then the behaviors

[00:09:50] that you care about encouraging are actually going to get discouraged, right?

[00:09:57] This is a difficult thing to wrap our heads around.

[00:10:00] And I want to be clear, I’m not talking about being blind to some outcome reality.

[00:10:07] There are times when we play well and still lose.

[00:10:11] There are times when we make good decisions, when we execute good processes, when we write

[00:10:17] good code, and we fail.

[00:10:19] We have something that leaks into production, something bad happens.

[00:10:25] We should be able to recognize and separate these two things, that you both can do a great

[00:10:30] job and the outcome for the parts that you can’t control looks like a failure.

[00:10:37] This is why we have to reorient ourselves to what we are focused on, what we care about,

[00:10:43] what we are indifferent to, and recognize that as you move forward, your locus of control

[00:10:50] may change.

[00:10:52] You may grow into a new position.

[00:10:55] You might learn new technology or maybe the dynamic, the interpersonal dynamic between

[00:11:01] you and your boss or you and your coworkers may change.

[00:11:05] But one thing will always remain, even if your locus of control does change, there will

[00:11:12] be things that you cannot control that influence the outcome of your actions.

[00:11:20] And so I encourage you to focus on what you can influence, focus on what you can control,

[00:11:27] and focus on doing those things right.

[00:11:31] When you end your day today, don’t allow the things that you couldn’t control to determine

[00:11:38] how you sum up your day to yourself, that internal narrative that you say, well today

[00:11:44] was a good day or today wasn’t such a good day.

[00:11:48] If you can shift that narrative so that good days are determined based on things that you

[00:11:55] can control, this will change the way you think and how you frame your work to yourself.

[00:12:04] It’ll change the way you think about the world.

[00:12:06] It’ll change the way that you think about judging your own work.

[00:12:10] This is going to completely change the way that you interact with the world and with

[00:12:15] other people.

[00:12:16] Thanks so much for listening to today’s episode of Developer Tea.

[00:12:18] Thank you again to today’s sponsor, Square.

[00:12:20] If you want to get started building custom solutions for millions of sellers around the

[00:12:25] world, head over to developertea.com slash Square and get started today.

[00:12:29] You can also join our discussion on the Developer Tea Discord community.

[00:12:33] Head over to developertea.com slash Discord to join that totally free.

[00:12:38] Thanks so much for listening and until next time, enjoy your tea.

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