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Spend Your Time Intentionally Through Expectation Mapping

Summary

The episode introduces a framework called “expectation mapping” to help listeners spend their time more intentionally. The host explains that while we all share the constraint of time, we often spend it based on unexamined assumptions about what others expect from us or out of habit, without clear intentionality.

The core exercise involves categorizing how you spend your time based on who expects you to do each activity. The two main audiences are yourself and others. Activities can then fall into categories such as: things no one expects you to do; things only you expect yourself to do; things only others expect you to do; and things both you and others expect. A critical insight is the category where you believe others expect something from you, but they actually don’t—a common source of wasted time and mental energy.

The host emphasizes that this framework is a lens to understand the “why” behind your time expenditure. By mapping your activities, you can identify which tasks are driven by incorrect assumptions versus genuine, aligned expectations. The goal is to validate your assumptions about others’ expectations where possible and seek overlap where your actions benefit both you and others.

Ultimately, the episode challenges listeners to move from autopilot to purpose. Whether an activity is a “necessary evil,” a “selfless sacrifice,” or a mutually beneficial investment, the key is to choose it deliberately. The framework doesn’t promise hyper-productivity but offers clarity on aligning your time with your values and reducing time spent on activities that serve no one’s expectations.

Recommendations

Tools

  • Miro — A collaborative online whiteboard tool sponsored in this episode. The host uses it daily with his engineering team to plan, surface complex topics, and document questions during working sessions. He notes his team says Miro sessions are their favorite part of meetings.

Topic Timeline

  • 00:00:00 — Introduction to the theme of time and intentionality — The host introduces the episode’s focus on time as a universal constraint. He distinguishes the discussion from hyper-productivity advice, framing it instead about spending time in an explicit and intentional way. The goal is to explore why we spend time the way we do, considering obligations and past decisions.
  • 00:02:55 — Introducing the expectation mapping framework — The host announces a new framework for thinking about time use, described as a new lens rather than a replacement for past exercises like calendar audits. The core question is: for each activity, identify who is expecting you to do it. The framework categorizes expectations from yourself and from others.
  • 00:06:31 — Breaking down the expectation categories — The host details the categories within the framework. The two main audiences are yourself and others. Activities can fall into: nobody expects you to do it; only you expect it; only others expect it; or both expect it. He highlights the nuanced categories where your belief about others’ expectations may be incorrect—either you think they expect something they don’t, or vice versa.
  • 00:09:32 — Applying the framework to identify waste and alignment — The discussion focuses on what to do with the insights from mapping. The category where nobody expects an activity often reveals time spent on autopilot or waste. More importantly, many activities fall into the category where you don’t expect to do it but incorrectly believe others do. The host advises validating these assumptions to reduce time spent on unaligned tasks.
  • 00:11:39 — Seeking overlap and understanding the ‘why’ — The optimal outcome is finding overlap where activities benefit both you and others. At minimum, the framework should provide clarity on why you spend time a certain way and who benefits. The host acknowledges that some tasks with delayed benefits (like necessary evils or selfless sacrifices) may still be worthwhile, but the key is to choose them on purpose.

Episode Info

  • Podcast: Developer Tea
  • Author: Jonathan Cutrell
  • Category: Technology Business Careers Society & Culture
  • Published: 2023-10-26T09:30:00Z
  • Duration: 00:14:38

References

Podcast Info

Transcript

[00:00:00] One thing we focus on on this show a lot is time.

[00:00:16] It’s been kind of a theme for the last year or so because time is the one thing that we

[00:00:25] all share in common.

[00:00:27] We may have different skills, interests, hobbies.

[00:00:31] We may have entirely different values, but we are all bound by time.

[00:00:39] If you’re listening to the show, you probably want to know how to use your time as effectively

[00:00:45] as possible.

[00:00:47] And we’re not talking about the hyper productivity kind of advice that you might get.

[00:00:54] Maybe you’ve gotten it here actually on this show before, but that’s not what we’re talking

[00:00:58] about today.

[00:01:00] Today we’re just talking about spending your time in a way that is explicit and intentional.

[00:01:07] And when we say intentional, we’re going to actually kind of bracket that.

[00:01:11] We’re going to explain what we mean by intentional in today’s episode.

[00:01:17] If you think about why you spend your time the way that you do, you may come up with

[00:01:22] a list of answers.

[00:01:25] The list may include obligations, things that you really don’t have a lot of agency over.

[00:01:33] At least you don’t believe you have much agency over them.

[00:01:37] It’s worth challenging that, but things that you kind of take as constant.

[00:01:44] An example of this for me is that I don’t really have a choice in the mornings.

[00:01:49] I need to get my son to school.

[00:01:52] Now there are many ways I could do that, but ultimately there’s some kind of time or money

[00:01:57] or some combination of both of those things that is required to get my son to school.

[00:02:05] And for the sake of today’s discussion, we’re going to set aside the theoretical idea that

[00:02:12] my many decisions kind of lead to other decisions.

[00:02:15] So I’m not really making a decision today in isolation, I’m actually responding to other

[00:02:23] decisions that I’ve made in the past.

[00:02:25] That’s true, it’s worth thinking about at some point, but it’s not practical for today’s

[00:02:31] episode.

[00:02:32] Instead, I want to think about all of these reasons why I do the things that I do, why

[00:02:37] I spend my time the way that I spend it.

[00:02:40] We’ve talked about doing an audit of your calendar in the past before, and in today’s

[00:02:44] episode you may do a similar kind of exercise, but we’re going to put a new lens on that

[00:02:50] exercise.

[00:02:51] Today we’re going to introduce a new framework for thinking about this.

[00:02:55] It’s not necessarily novel, but it’s new to this show.

[00:02:59] We’re going to talk about this framework and how you might go about executing it right

[00:03:03] after we talk about today’s sponsor, Miro.

[00:03:09] Folks, I’m very excited to talk about today’s sponsor Miro because I genuinely use this

[00:03:19] tool almost every single day at work.

[00:03:23] In fact, probably every day.

[00:03:26] That’s no exaggeration because it helps take a ton of information from a variety of sources

[00:03:32] and brings every person on your team onto the same page.

[00:03:36] Literally, you get a team board that you can all work from.

[00:03:41] The centralized board can simplify complex projects for every stakeholder.

[00:03:46] That’s in the copy, but it’s actually true.

[00:03:48] It’s something I really believe.

[00:03:50] Miro has helped me do so much with our team.

[00:03:53] The thing I want to talk about today that Miro does, it helps us plan and surface complex

[00:04:00] topics in engineering planning.

[00:04:03] If we’re looking at user stories, let’s say, we might have a whole list of user stories

[00:04:10] and we’ve got a bunch of questions about those.

[00:04:12] How do we get those questions documented?

[00:04:14] Are we going to comment forever in our issue tracker?

[00:04:17] No.

[00:04:18] We’re going to go to Miro.

[00:04:19] We’re going to have a session, a working session in Miro.

[00:04:22] This is the most collaborative place and genuine.

[00:04:26] This is not a joke.

[00:04:27] The team that I’m leading right now says that this is their favorite part of our team meetings.

[00:04:34] Their favorite part of our team meetings is when we go to Miro.

[00:04:38] That’s actually true.

[00:04:39] It’s a bunch of engineers who are saying that.

[00:04:41] That’s because you actually get a chance to hear all of the voices in the room, perhaps

[00:04:46] for the first time in a long time.

[00:04:48] If you’re used to synchronous meetings, Miro can totally change your life, I promise.

[00:04:53] Go and check it out.

[00:04:54] Go to Miro.com slash podcast, that’s M-I-R-O dot com slash podcast, Miro dot com slash

[00:05:02] podcast.

[00:05:03] Thanks again to Miro for sponsoring today’s episode of Developer Team.

[00:05:16] Let’s talk about this framework, this framework of identifying how you are using your time

[00:05:21] and whether or not that’s intentional.

[00:05:23] We’ve done this before where you look at meetings that you’re spending your time doing,

[00:05:28] where you do the ideal week exercise.

[00:05:31] If you’ve done those things, then that’s a great starting point.

[00:05:35] Those are still valid exercises.

[00:05:36] This is not like the one framework to rule them all.

[00:05:39] It’s a new lens to think about your time.

[00:05:43] So I want you to think about it in this specific way.

[00:05:47] If you were to look at all of the things on your calendar, try to identify who is expecting

[00:05:54] this from you.

[00:05:57] Who is expecting you to do that thing?

[00:06:01] It doesn’t have to be on your calendar even.

[00:06:03] It might be just something that you do out of habit.

[00:06:05] Who is expecting you to spend your time in that particular way?

[00:06:09] And I want to give you a couple of categories.

[00:06:12] And I know that Miro is a sponsor, but I genuinely think that Miro would be a good tool to kind

[00:06:17] of brainstorm this out.

[00:06:19] You could use pen and paper, a spreadsheet might even do it, but something to get your

[00:06:24] thoughts out and to actually identify where you would map these ideas in these different

[00:06:29] categories.

[00:06:30] All right.

[00:06:31] So there’s two audiences here, yourself, right, expectations from yourself and expectations

[00:06:39] from others.

[00:06:40] A version of this might be expectations from specific groups of others.

[00:06:45] You may want to set out your family, for example, as a distinct group who has expectations of

[00:06:51] you.

[00:06:52] Another way to think about this question of expectations is who cares?

[00:06:57] Who cares that you do this particular thing?

[00:07:00] All right.

[00:07:01] So for these two major categories, yourself and others, there are a couple of different

[00:07:07] categories that you’re, you know, spending your time, these events, these activities

[00:07:12] that you participate in, that they can fall under as it relates to the expectations of

[00:07:18] that group.

[00:07:19] So there might be things that you are doing that no one, yourself or others, expect you

[00:07:26] to do.

[00:07:27] No one cares that you do that thing.

[00:07:29] Now, just to add a little bit of color, when we say expect here, what we’re saying is they

[00:07:35] want or they are in some way benefited by you doing that thing.

[00:07:39] They expect you to do it, whether it’s because it’s your role to do that.

[00:07:44] Maybe you’ve established those expectations.

[00:07:46] For some reason, there is a desire for you to do the thing.

[00:07:52] So that first category is a notable one.

[00:07:54] We’ll come back to it.

[00:07:56] The category of nobody caring.

[00:07:58] Nobody is expecting you to do this thing and you are still doing it.

[00:08:03] You may be able to fill in the other categories.

[00:08:06] You expect yourself to do it while others do not expect you to do it.

[00:08:12] You don’t expect yourself to do it, but others do expect you to do it or you both expect

[00:08:19] you to do it.

[00:08:20] But there’s a little bit of a nuance with the others expect you to do it category.

[00:08:26] So whether you think it’s just others that expect you to do it or you and others expect

[00:08:30] you to do something, the reality is you don’t know for certain.

[00:08:36] You believe that others expect you to do it.

[00:08:40] So there is another category where you believe that others expect you to do something, but

[00:08:47] they actually don’t.

[00:08:49] And then you believe that they don’t expect you to do something, but they actually do.

[00:08:55] And these are the most interesting categories because this is where our brain tends to trick

[00:09:01] us.

[00:09:02] A lot of times we believe that others expect something from us that they actually don’t.

[00:09:09] And because we often don’t share our expectations with one another, there may be expectations

[00:09:14] that you have of another person or that another person has of you that the opposite party

[00:09:19] doesn’t know about.

[00:09:22] And the important thing here is that when you’re spending your time intentionally, there

[00:09:26] are a few categories to zoom into, a few things that you really care about.

[00:09:32] Of course, setting expectations of yourself is important.

[00:09:36] For example, you may expect yourself to invest in your own health.

[00:09:41] You may spend time being physically active, for example.

[00:09:46] This is an expectation that you’re putting on yourself.

[00:09:49] But what about that category that nobody expects you to do something, a particular thing?

[00:09:54] That might be, for example, something that you do on autopilot, something that you waste

[00:09:59] time doing.

[00:10:01] You may not even enjoy it.

[00:10:02] It may not provide you any kind of fulfillment or satisfaction.

[00:10:06] It’s just purely a waste of time.

[00:10:09] Sometimes this is done out of habit, but more often than not, this particular category is

[00:10:14] actually the category of you don’t expect yourself to do it, but you believe incorrectly

[00:10:21] that someone else expects you to do it.

[00:10:24] Now, to save you from me saying the word expect a hundred more times, let’s back up and talk

[00:10:30] about these categories and what you do with this information once you’ve kind of gone

[00:10:35] through an exercise like this.

[00:10:38] Something you’ll probably notice is that you make a lot of assumptions about what other

[00:10:42] people want from you.

[00:10:45] It’s important to try to validate those assumptions in whatever way you can.

[00:10:50] Now, it might be awkward to ask somebody, well, what is it that you want from me, especially

[00:10:57] if this is a personal relationship that you have?

[00:11:00] You may be able to fill in the blanks a little bit here, and it’s not about getting this

[00:11:04] thing perfect, but rather recognizing opportunities to reduce the amount of time that you spend

[00:11:11] doing things that you don’t expect from yourself.

[00:11:17] In an optimal situation, you would find overlap in as many activities as you can find.

[00:11:25] That is, other people benefit from your actions and you also benefit from your actions.

[00:11:32] Others expect and you expect.

[00:11:35] At the very least, what you should be able to walk away with, if you look at the way

[00:11:39] you spend your time through this lens, is a clearer indication of why.

[00:11:46] Why are you spending your time in that particular way?

[00:11:49] Who does it benefit?

[00:11:50] And if it doesn’t benefit you directly, why do it in the first place?

[00:11:57] There are good answers to that question.

[00:11:59] That’s not necessarily a rhetorical question.

[00:12:04] Why do it in the first place might be that you do eventually get a benefit from that

[00:12:10] action.

[00:12:11] Arguably, a lot of the things that you spend your time doing that others want you to do

[00:12:17] have delayed benefits rather than direct benefits.

[00:12:21] It’s worth your time to validate and recognize which of the things that you’re doing fit

[00:12:26] in that category.

[00:12:28] These are what you might call necessary evils in your schedule, or they may fit in the

[00:12:33] category of selfless sacrifice.

[00:12:38] Whatever you choose to spend your time on is really up to you.

[00:12:43] My challenge to you is to do it on purpose.

[00:12:49] Thanks so much for listening to today’s episode.

[00:12:51] A huge thank you once again to Miro.

[00:12:55] Miro is seriously probably the most used, consistently used tool on my team right now

[00:13:03] that makes a gigantic impact in our productivity and in our closeness as a team.

[00:13:10] We’ll talk more about Miro in upcoming episodes of the show and other kinds of things that

[00:13:14] Miro can help you do.

[00:13:16] For now, you can get started today.

[00:13:19] Your first three Miro boards are free.

[00:13:21] By the way, a board can do a lot, so that’s nothing to shake a stick at there.

[00:13:26] That’s Miro.com slash podcast.

[00:13:30] Miro.com slash podcast.

[00:13:34] If you enjoyed this episode and you like developer tea to keep on going, you can help us out

[00:13:38] in two ways.

[00:13:39] One, share this episode directly with somebody that you think would appreciate it.

[00:13:44] And the second way is to leave a review in whatever podcasting platform you subscribe

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[00:13:52] You know this.

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[00:13:57] You know that this is helpful because you probably found the show in a similar way.

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[00:14:14] Finally, if you’d like to join the developer tea discord community, head over to developer

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[00:14:29] Thanks so much for listening and until next time, enjoy your tea.

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